Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Happy Nude Year

I don’t know how you spent New Year’s Eve but I was in Malaga in Spain celebrating in a Chinese restaurant with some English friends and the waiter presented us with a carving of the Eiffel Tower – now that’s weird!

The rest of the time I bared my soul (and everything else) on the roof whilst trying to move my book along. It was amazing weather for January and I got a decent tan.

My skin looks so smooth and is such a great colour that I reckon you could skin me and upholster a Ferrari.

Hey, my arse would easily cover the two front seats.

But, of course, I’m exaggerating. Along with my Mediterranean tan I indulged in a Mediterranean diet so my bum would hardly cover the gearstick sheath.

But, of course, I’m exaggerating – well you get the picture. My friends did and they’re now threatening to blackmail me with their photographs.

They could always post me on those BBW sites. That would stand for Big Boozy Writer in my case.

I’m waffling now because the weeks before and after New Year had me naked in another sense. My emotions were definitely exposed as my (ex) g/f and I tried to work out our problems.

It was simple from her point of view – I was the problem. My personality combined with my commitment, my writing, this blog and my bizarre friends.

I had to strongly disagree with her about everything – apart from my friends. Fuck, they really are bizarre.

I went with Dolce & Gabbana to see Bareback Mountain.

Sorry, I think that should read Brokenback, but as it’s about two gay cowboys who knows?

My two friendly cowpokes were really affected by the movie. Later they wore high heels and slipped into a pair of chaps.

Boom Boom! Or should that be Bum Bum! Sorry for the cheap jokes, I’m saving the expensive ones for my book.

Anyway back to the movie. It’s very beautiful and very sad. Afterwards they had manly tears in their eyes but all the shit in my life meant I just blubbed and blubbed.

John Wayne would have given me a slap but they tried a more modern approach. They took me to bed.

We lay naked together. Nothing sexual happened but it was so sensual. I was the meat in the sandwich, in crude terms, but this wasn’t crude in any way.

Once again it proves we can do more than just fuck with our bodies, our skin is an organ for love and affection too.

Hey, I’m getting a bit Californian but it worked for me.

I felt a bit more confident. And well, this weekend my g/f and I did a lot of making up and making out.

My fingers are crossed for the future. But, at least, my thighs aren’t crossed as well.

Love from The Naked Novelist

Sadie xxxx