The sultry, pouting editrix of Rocks Magazine (you must read it by the way, it’s great fun and very informative) recently described me as having a ’crazy sex life’.
I was shocked. Is having a relationship with one other person crazy? It used to be blokes now it’s babes, and that’s all that’s different.
Maybe it’s the ‘one’ person that’s crazy. Ask Bill Wyman, the ex-Rolling Stones guy, he slept with over two thousand women, sometimes several at one go (or so he says). Still something must account for those bags under his eyes. Julio Ingleses apparently bedded several thousand more and, today, Colin Farrell appears to be grinding away to get the record back for the British Isles.
As for the girls, Grace Kelly apparently slept with every leading man in her many movies (although she did the leading I expect). Then Catherine the Great, the Russian Queen, allegedly, had rumpy pumpy with every man and officer in one of her regiments but, I‘ve heard stories about Jordan that makes that sound like a one knight stand.
Still those are just numerical. I still don’t think they rank as very ‘crazy’, unless you count the health implecations.
No, if you want crazy how about a woman I met when I was doing research for my book in a BSDM club (and yes it was research, my bum remained totally unlined)
This woman slipped off her cloak to reveal that she was naked. Ok, you might think, that’s just being polite in a BDSM club – but she wasn’t completely naked.
Her tits were clamped between two pieces of wood and her areolas had needles threaded through in a pretty circular shape – arrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhh!
That wasn’t all. She had needles inserted in the skin of her groin in a ‘feather’ pattern too.
Why the fuck did she do this you might be sensibly wondering? Well, it’s because she loved her man.
She let him do this to her as a demonstration of how much she adored him. What – was – she – thinking – of?
Answer – she was thinking of him and his funny little ways. Plus she told me proudly that recently she got her kicks from him kicking her - and punching her.
She had a secret, soppy but rather smug smile when she told me this.
NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL A CRAZY SEX LIFE!
But, like Ester Rantzen used to say on ‘That’s Life’…if you know better please get in touch with me?
Love & Kisses Safe and boring Sadie