Famous fanny fanciers (and other jokes)

A regular correspondent emailed me last week and chided me for not writing more about lesbian issues in this blog.

I'm not sure I'm aware of any to be honest. It seems to me that ladies-who-lunch-on-ladies are doing pretty well these days.

But I'd like to see some lesbian issues of Vogue or maybe Heat.

We’re quite fashionable actually. People like the stunning supermodel Kate Moss and/or actress Sienna Miller (allegedly) are reported in the red-tops as mutual rug-munchers. More seriously, Sarah Waters, the writer of Fingersmith etc was a hot favourite for the prestigious Booker Prize for her novel about lesbian and straight love in the Second World War.

In the USA, Christine Aguillera and Drew Barrymore have shown some enthusiasm for getting close and personal with women (late as always compared to the goddess Madonna who was apparently ‘Into the groove’ of Sandra Bernard years ago) and The L Word (which I despise) is very popular.

So, no obvious prejudice here. Plus lesbians are also getting ‘married’ in public ceremonies (like my gay friends a couple of weeks ago).

In fact, life is very laid-back for us lady lovers at the moment. Any fuss about females in the Daily Mail is currently aimed at rather sweet Muslims who choose to wear veils. Or Madonna’s adoption issues.

I’m putting some hot sweaty lesbian lurvvve into my book so no surprises there! But I’m not expecting an outcry – the stuff with the margarine and the goat will probably achieve that.

Just joking. Which gets me neatly to some supposedly witty lines that an American friend emailed me – who says we don’t have a cunny bone?

1. What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians?
...A licker cabinet.

2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian?
...A Klondyke.

3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns?
....Militia Etheridge.

4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time?
…Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.

5. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
…Fur Traders.

6. What is a lesbian dinosaur called?
…A Lickalotapuss.

7. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?
…Well Hung.

8. Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned?
...She was found face down in Ricki Lake.

9. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
...Even the pool table doesn't have balls.

10. What do you call lesbian twins?
...Lick-a-likes.

11. What's the definition of confusion?
...Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.

12. What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?
...One's a snack cracker,the other's a crack snacker

13. What do you call an open can of tuna on a lesbians coffee table??
…Potpourri

Ha ha ha, gosh my sides are splitting!

Love Sadie xxxxxx